Beans and Me.


By Amberfly


EMAIL: Amberfly




Daniel sat on his bed clutching his well worn, one-eyed bear and sighed as only a small boy can. "Mr. Beans, what am I gonna do with you?" He tossed the toy into the air and caught it close as he lay down on his back, frowning. With another sigh that seemed to come from the depths of his little being, Danny looked at the bear longingly, his blue eyes misting with tears.  


"This is just terrible!"


The faded yellow bear was Daniel's best friend in the whole wide world, but that friendship suddenly seemed in danger. There comes a time in every man's life, he sadly discovered, when he has to accept the fact that he's too old for bedtime toys. He didn't want to, no sirreee bob.  Danny was happy sharing his nighttime dreams with Beans, but he'd overheard Uncle Jack say he was getting too old. The words were shocking and he still couldn't believe his guardian had said them.


Danny looked at his bear and crossed his heart with a finger. He swore he hadn't been eavesdropping. "I was just listening accidentally, that was all." If Jack said it, then it must be true. Daniel Jackson was too old to sleep with Mr. Beans!


He sniffed at the memory of the treacherous words. "Poor Beans! Uncle Jack just doesn't understand you!" In a show of loyalty, he hugged his old friend closer to his chest, not bothering to wipe away the disobedient tears that rolled down his cheek. He loved Mr. Beans but he loved Uncle Jack more, and that meant no more sleeping with a stuffed bear with only one eye and half an ear.


"Guess I'm just gonna have to be a man!"




Mr. Beans was very old. He had belonged to Janet and come all the way from New Orleans, and when she gave him to her littlest friend he was a mighty fine looking bear. Two bright blue glass bead eyes, a fancy waistcoat made of checkered silk and on top of his head a small green hat. Very smart indeed. Janet had loved him dearly, and naturally, so did Danny. Sometimes he loved him a little too much, as time began to tell.


One day Danny was sitting on his bed one day telling Beans all about the new kittens in the pet shop, when he noticed something awful.  "Oh no, Mr. Beans! You can't hear me any more because you're blinded!"


He wasn't exactly sure how Mr. Beans lost his eye; the glass bead popped out one day and rolled away with the dust bunnies never to be seen again. Daniel was heartbroken.   Janet consoled him and promised to sew another one on just as soon as she could.  But she went away right after that.  Mr. Beans and Danny snuggled together at the top of the stairs and watched the sad people coming and going, and they both decided one good eye was good enough.


Of course, Danny was sad too and missed Janet very much, but his natural enthusiasm coupled with the resilience of the very young soon led him into mischief, with Mr. Beans along for his many harebrained adventures. Despite all his heartfelt promises to behave, he would occasionally accidentally forget. "I can't be expected to mind everyone, Mr. Beans! There's too many of `em bossing me around!"


 It was sometimes hard for him to remember Uncle Jack's warnings not to take Mr. Beans outside.   After all, how much fun could he have without his best friend close by?  They were sitting on the front step eating the cookies their housekeeper, Mrs. Grabowski would have given him had she been around to ask when one of the neighbors dogs came into his yard sniffing. Danny made the mistake of teasing him with a cookie. The dog was hungry and growled a warning in his throat, frightening Danny and sending him scrambling backwards.  He screamed as the dog lunged and snatched Mr. Beans before loping away to hide. Horrified by the attempted bear-icide, he threw the cookies to the ground and yelled at the top of his voice for help.


"Jaaackkkkk!"  Daniel tried his best to stun the dog with his impressive vocal range. "Saaammmmmm! Ttttttteeaaaal'cccc!"


Though the opportunistic dog paid no attention to his high pitched wailing, his family certainly did, answering the distress call in true SG-1 style. If Danny hadn't been so upset he might have laughed at their clumsy antics as they chased the unruly creature all around the yard until they finally cornered him, thus rescuing Beans from his slobbery fate. A tearful and contrite little boy wailed in earnest when he surveyed his beloved bear's condition. Mr. Beans was in bad shape, and Mrs. Grabowski was enlisted to fix him up.


"I'll fix, honey!" Edna Grabowski nodded her head, determination etched into her kindly face.


Edna was true to his word, washing, repairing, and duly returning the bear to his grateful owner, though she gently explained she couldn't save the right ear.  Danny's unsinkable optimism once again shone through. "Mr. Beans don't mind, Mrs. Edna! Honestly he doesn't!"  He patted his friend's arm, assuring her that a brave bear from New Orleans didn't really need two eyes and two good ears! He took Mr. Beans and kissed him tenderly while scratching at the sewn up wound. "He's gonna be okay, Mrs. Edna! He has Daniel Jackson looking out for him!"


 He thought he heard his Uncle Jack chuckling behind him, but he couldn't be sure.


It wasn't long before another terrible tragedy befell the luckless Mr. Beans, and once again, the evidence pointed to his best ever friend, Doctor Daniel Jackson Jr. Somehow, and Danny swore he didn't know how, the bear's smart silk waistcoat and dapper green hat, ended up buried in the next door neighbor's yard. Jack asked him if he had gone into the house without permission, but Danny had shaken his head fiercely. "No," he said, voice melting with just the right amount of innocence, "that naughty dog must have kidnapped that stupid jacket and dumb hat when I wasn't lookin'!"


Jack growled. Sam snorted. Teal' sighed. Not one of them believed Danny's tale. Apparently, Red Setters just weren't that smart. Cause and effect were swift, and as Danny sat on his chair, he smiled heroically between his tears. A time out and no dessert for two nights for telling whoppers was a small price to pay for freeing Beans from looking like a sissy!


The unclad, hatless, one eyed bear with the chewed right ear hadn't finished with his run of bad luck. Nope, with Doctor Jackson as his protector his existence was always going to be precarious. The weather was plenty hot for swimming, but no one had time to take him so he improvised. Eyeing the full bird bath gave him an idea.  At least Mr. Beans could be cool.  He dropped him in and tried very hard to teach him how to swim, just in case Jack came home early and took them to the pool after all. Rescued this time by a scolding Mrs. Grabowski, Beans was dried out and returned to Danny's bed with strict instructions swimming lessons were over.


"For an inside toy," he overheard Edna say, "Beans spends a lot of time outside."




Danny hopped off his bed and paced his room, inspecting all his toys and treasures carefully. "This is more than terrible," he moaned. "It's awful!" He loved his room and everything in it, and Beans belonged here as much as he did. Still, he scolded himself, Daniel Nicholas Jackson, no more bedtime toys for you!


But his resolve wavered. What happened if the old tree near his window scratched late at night? Who would be there to tell him it was just a stupid old branch? What if he had a belly ache from eating too many of the fizzy candy he accidentally found in Mrs. Grabowski's handbag? He couldn't call for Jack because he'd ask all number of pesky questions. The only one he could confide in was Mr. Beans, but now he was too old for him. According to Uncle Jack, anyway.


Danny sat down on the floor and began to cry.  Growing up sure was hard sometimes. 


Sniffing and wiping his nose with his sleeve, he was startled to see Jack standing over him.  Danny hadn't heard him come in.


Jack knelt down beside him. "Hey buddy," he said gently. "What's wrong? Why the tears?"


Feeling miserable and desperate, Danny confessed he'd overheard him tell Sam he was too old for Mr. Beans. "I heard ya, Uncle Jack! You want me to get rid of him!"


Jack's lips twitched and one eyebrow arched. "That a fact? What do I say about little boys listening to conversations that don't concern them?"


Daniel blinked. "Huh?"


"I never said you were too old for Mr. Beans, little man! What I said was that Beans is getting mighty old. Sam and I were discussing what you might like for a birthday present and she thought you might like another bear to sleep with!"




It had all been a big misunderstanding, then!  Danny jumped to his feet and threw his arms around his bemused guardian's neck. "Boy! Uncle Jack, next time, you should make yourself clearer!" His brow wrinkled in annoyance as he wagged a stern finger under his nose. "Mr. Beans has been real worried!"


"I'm sorry. What was I thinking?" Jack rolled his eyes and grinned.


"That's okay. You'll know better next time, so I won't tell General Hammond this time, okay?"


Snuggling into his friend's neck, Danny mimicked the expression he'd heard that morning after he'd broken Mrs. Grabowski's key ring. "I know you didn't mean to, but I might not be so forgiving next time!"


"I'll keep that in mind," Jack promised.  "Would you and Mr. Beans like to come downstairs for supper?  I made your favorite."


"Oh boy, yeahsureyoubetcha!"

The End.