A Reaction to Reaction
Blair knew for every action that there was a reaction. It was a law of the universe, or some such thing. It was a quote Blair had heard his entire life. Blair knew when he wrote his dissertation, actually putting the words down on paper; he knew there would be a reaction. He just hadn't expected such a negative reaction. All hell had broken loose and the world had changed. And not for the better either.
There was no way for Blair to change what was already in motion. He knew that. He could only mitigate some of the damage. He wasn't sure what to do though. He decided to go talk to Simon, knowing the captain was home from the hospital to recuperate at home. He drove to Simon's place, finding himself standing on the porch, unsure if this was the right move. He finally knocked on the door, waiting for an answer.
Several minutes passed before Simon opened the door, standing there, leaning on his walker.
"Hey, Simon. It's good to see you up and about." Blair tried to sound upbeat.
"Something I can do for you, Sandburg?"
"I was wondering if we could talk." He tried not to sound too desperate.
"C'mon in and close the door behind you."
Simon moved on ahead towards the living room, sitting down gingerly in the overstuffed chair that was there.
"Do you want something to drink? I have beer, water, maybe even some soda in the refrigerator."
"Nah, I'm good, Simon. Can I get you something, though?"
"The doctors say I can only have water for a while. I'd like a bottle, if you don't mind."
"Nah, I don't mind. I'll be right back."
Blair walked into the kitchen, getting two bottles of water out of the refrigerator. He decided he might need the water to rid himself of the sudden lump in his throat. He came back out to the living room, handing Simon the bottle of water and sitting down on the couch opposite the chair.
"So, what do you want to talk about, Blair?" Simon could tell Blair was preoccupied.
"I want to apologize for all of this. If I hadn't started with the whole dissertation idea, this would have never happened."
"You can't know that, Blair. Zeller was bound to attack, no matter what the circumstances. His history with Jim and his frustration with the situation pushed him to the edge and made his actions desperate."
"But things escalated over the years because of my obsession with sentinels and my short-sighted push towards proving some ancient theory. I've practically destroyed my friendship with Jim. We haven't spoken much since he got home from the hospital. He's been spending time with his father and brother. I can just imagine what they are thinking. Probably trying to get me to leave Cascade quietly without any more revelations."
"You don't really believe that, do you Blair? Jim came to me in the hospital, telling me he wanted to find a way for you to stay. Even if it meant you going to the academy and becoming his official partner."
"I know he said those words, but I saw the look in his eyes later at the loft. He wanted to retract those words. I've screwed up his life and he just wants to return to the detective he was before we met years earlier. It might be best if I just left and let everyone forget I was even here."
"I know you don't believe that, Blair. Even though I'm not one to praise people on their performance, you have been an asset to Major Crime, to Jim, to everyone at the station. You have made an impact, a difference. Don't do something rash and run away from your destiny and your responsibilities."
Blair almost choked on the water he was drinking. He looked over at Simon and saw the sincerity in his eyes. He quickly looked down at the floor.
"That's your problem, Blair. You don't give yourself enough credit. You credit everyone else, but sell yourself short. I think you should go home, talk to Jim and air out your concerns. I'm sure Jim won't bring up things on his own. You've always had to pull things out of him and this situation will be no different."
"You're right, Simon." Blair let a small chuckle escape. "That's why you are the captain. I just didn't want to hurt anyone any more."
"Just remember it wasn't your fault, Blair. Are you feeling better now?"
"Yeah, I am. Thank you, Simon."
"So, are you staying in Cascade? Jim still needs a partner he can trust and count on."
"I guess I will. At least for a while longer. Until Jim and I discuss things like two reasonable people should."
"Good. Then my work is done for now. If you need to talk again, you know where I am."
"Are you going to return to the station?"
"Eventually, but the doctors want me to take my time."
"Good. I'm glad you're going to be back. I've taken up enough of your time, Simon. Thank you for listening to me. Get your rest. Is there anything you need before I go?"
"No, thank you, Blair. Just go talk to that partner of yours and get on the same page. I don't need discord when I return to the station. I want a fully functioning unit."
"Yes, sir, Captain." Blair stood, saluted Simon and smiled.
"Get out of here, Sandburg. I need my rest."
Blair threw out his empty water bottle and left Simon's place. As he walked back to his car, he formulated his confrontation with Jim, hoping it would be more of a genuine talk. It was time for them to clear the air on many subjects and Blair knew it wouldn't be easy, but that it was necessary.